LYON o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2003-09-29 published
Carole YELLIN
By Issie LYON
Monday,
September 29, 2003 - Page A20
Psychologist, friend, reader, mother. Born August 23, 1949, in
Montreal. Died July 5 in Toronto, of cancer, aged 53.
Everyone who knew Carole knew what a brilliant woman she was.
She was an intellectual, a reader, a thinker, who was always
exploring new ideas and seeking to use her own mind to understand
the world better, and to understand herself better. In this sense,
the profession of psychology was really perfect for her, because
plumbing the human mind for insight and understanding was so
important to her. Her book club, her Bible study group, her earlier
explorations of (among many things) Gestalt and Virginia Satir
testify to the restlessness of her intellectual search for meaning.
When a book or a movie or an opera touched her, no one could
be more enthusiastic about singing its praises than Carole, because
she was so passionate about her search for meaning, was always
so open to new ideas. When she loved something, she really loved
it, because she learned from it.
One of the extraordinary things about Carole was that for all
of her intellectual strengths, she was never an ivory tower type.
She was always determined to use the mind, and the PhD that she
had earned, to help others. Nothing gave Carole more pleasure
than when she helped a client make progress. At the Scarborough
school board, she devoted herself to helping single mothers,
and to anti-racism work. Clients she had in her private practice
had tremendous respect, and affection, for her as someone who
really cared.
Those Carole helped were not only clients. Carole's Friendships
were so important to her. She inspired tremendous loyalty in
her Friends, some going all the way back to kindergarten in Montreal
and the Laurentians, and of course from the decades she spent
in Toronto. She loved to help build up her Friends in whatever
ways she could, and in particular she loved to make connections
and matches among her Friends. The parties she and I threw were
always a pleasure for her, because they brought people together.
The Sunday healing circles of the last few months were the finest
expressions of this aspect of Carole. She brought people from
different parts of her life together so that the networks of
people she cared about would come to know each other and support
each other through this difficult time.
Family was so important to Carole. She enjoyed getting together
with her large and close extended family. She was also a wonderful
mother to Matthew and Josh. Carole derived great comfort from
the fact that she and I had raised two good boys, whom, she felt
confident, had the resources and tools to construct good and
productive lives for themselves. She was always very proud of
her boys. Carole was a wonderful role model for them as someone
who was inquisitive, someone who always had a book in her hand,
and who was open to learning new things.
Carole brought tremendous energy to whatever she did -- her professional
life, her marriage, her role as mother, her Friendships, her
sports, her pottery, and her constant quest for self-improvement.
This energy often came along with strong opinions, and she had
high standards for those around her. But she was always toughest
on herself. She always wanted to be the best; nothing less was
good enough. Because she was always seeking to grow, she never
stagnated. But that restlessness must not have been easy for
her. And perhaps that's why her backyard garden was so important
to her. She loved her quiet little oasis in the middle of the
big city. She loved her flowers, and the birds, which would come
feed. For someone whose nature was to be always on the go, that
garden provided a very important sanctuary for her, where she
could just be.
Issie LYON and Carole
YELLIN were together for almost 30 years.
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