JHU o@ca.on.york_county.toronto.globe_and_mail 2006-04-04 published
CHENG,
Mary
By Winfred
JHU,
Page
A20
Family woman, career woman. Born July 14, 1926, in Shanghai.
Died October 6, 2005, in Toronto, of respiratory failure, aged
Within the extended family, Mary was known as "Maha." We teasingly
named her after a character from the Three Stooges films; it
stuck for 40 years. To make up a set, her husband became "Baha."
Maha was sixth of seven children of Z.T. and Lily
TAO.
Growing
up between successful older siblings and a pampered baby brother
gave her an understandable, if somewhat exaggerated, sense of
being overlooked; it made her an enduring supporter of the underdog.
Her childhood world was first the colourful heyday of Shanghai,
then later the cruel period of Japanese occupation. Through those
times, the family lived in a state of "genteel non-affluence."
Maha attended a prestigious girls' school, then she went to university
to study pharmacy, unusual for a woman in China in those days.
The Chinese civil war interrupted her plans. The family moved
to Hong Kong, where she joined a small investment brokerage firm
as Girl Friday. Working in a windowless office with her cigar-chomping
English boss, her go-go attitude and razor-sharp mind quickly
made her a recognized star. Clients, from corporate executives
to "barefoot millionaires" implicitly trusted her skills and
integrity. One old-school gentleman would bring her quantities
of cash for his account, rolled inside a newspaper. As the company
grew, she managed its day-to-day operations.
In 1955, she married K.D.
CHENG, from an acquainted family. It
was a perfect match: while he was reserved and frustratingly
stoic, she was lively, bossy and could sometimes be a pest. They
had three children in quick succession. The nephews and nieces
who grew up around them were very much their children, too. While
still courting, they caused great amusement at his club's Christmas
party by bringing five kids. With the next generation, they would
have a similarly expanded group of grandchildren.
But the hectic, high-pressure lifestyle began to take its toll
on Maha's heart, already damaged by childhood scarlet fever.
She made changes, including becoming a vegetarian and teetotaller.
And she began to devote serious attention to Buddhism.
This phase of Maha's story ended in the late 1960s when political
unrest hit Hong Kong. At the prime of their careers, she and
Baha gave it all up and came to Canada, to give a secure and
healthy future to their children. In Toronto, her previous achievements
counted for little. Although she quickly passed her professional
exams, she once again became a clerk in an investment firm. With
neither the opportunity nor any real desire for advancement,
she worked enthusiastically at her job and was a popular and
highly valued employee. Her family thrived and became thoroughly
Canadianized. In the 1980s, she postponed retirement to support
two nephews through university.
In 1993, Maha underwent a heart-valve replacement. The life-saving
operation gave her 12 more years of zestful living. There were
frequent jolly gatherings at her house, where Baha indulged his
hobby of cooking and baking, while she merrily "yakked." In early
2005, they reached 50 years of marriage; we gave them a banquet
with some 75 relatives from around the world as guests. She was
ecstatic.
Maha was a person of great generosity and loyalty. However, she
could be contemptuous of those who fell too far short of her
values. Through her life, she helped numerous people with quiet
acts of kindness and material support. She made Friends easily,
but her closest relationships were reserved for her family in
which she was always a favourite central character. She loved
her family, she loved her work, and she loved life.
Winfred JHU is Mary
CHENG's nephew.
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